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Joke of the Day

"3: I'm going to say hi to that boy on the bike Boy rides by & she waves shyly after he passes 3: He didn't hear me Me: Flirting's hard"

"I doubt anyone's actually ""dying"" from seeing a cute baby picture on FB, but we can always dream."

"Boy, Peter Parker is lucky he was bitten by a spider and not one of those fainting goats."

"That awkward moment: You're watching a movie with your Dad when a sex scene comes on. And then your dad starts stroking your balls. Am I right??"

"Why does a chicken coop only have 2 doors? If it had 4 it would be a chicken sedan"

"I know almost 100 jokes about scales, but only 1 of them is good... All the rest are tareable"

"Even the worst hangover wears off by 5:00. Coincidence? I think not."

"""There are only 2 four letter words that are offensive to me - Don't and Stop.....unless they are used together..."""

"""Hey girl wanna go out Saturday night?"" No thanks I have a previous engagement ""I'm cool with that, hell I've been married like 6 times"""

"wife: Can't we just buy a bigger catflap? me: [buttering the cat] We're not made of money, Karen"