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Joke of the Day

"A pirate decided he wanted to retire He sold all his gold on eBay."

"So did you hear about the Angry composer? Apparently, he had a few scores to settle."

"What's the difference between an old cat and a little kitten? An old cat will bite and scratch, but a little pussy never hurt anybody."

"(Watching Liar Liar) Wife: If you couldn't lie for 24 hrs, how much longer would we be married? Me: Until the end of this movie."

"What do you call an ass on steroids? Assteroid."

"How do you catch a slutty bee? With a hornet."

"Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? Because he thought it was a delivery service."

"I am fairly well educated, but not 'knows every nuance of the English language' educated. I also have no idea what 'nuance' means."

"DOCTOR: Do you have any questions? ""Can I shower with this cast?"" DOCTOR: What do you think, guys? PHOEBE, JOEY, CHANDLER, MONICA: Sure!"

"If you're upset with someone, write down your feelings in a message. Put the message in a bottle. Hit them over the head with the bottle."