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Joke of the Day

"I'm very popular at the gym. Girls always approach saying things like, ""Hey, this is the women's locker room."""

"What is the difference between a 2 year old and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window."

"I just had to think to remember how to write a capital ""P"", so if anyone needs a tutor for their kid or anything, hit me up."

"Q: What do you call it when a cat bites? - A: Catnip!"

"I'd stop disappointing you, if you stopped expecting me to do stuff."

"I finally stopped the annoying noise in my car. I just opened the door and shoved her out."

"I was sitting on a bus in Thailand across from a beautiful young lady. My shorts were a little tight and I was thinking, don't get a boner, don't get a boner... But she did."

"White girls spend 15% of their lives thinking about cutting bangs."

"Pony: ""I love hay so much I-"" Dad: ""Why don't you marry it, ya big nerd?"" *pony grows up* *becomes Horse Emperor* *legalizes hay marriage*"

"My friend said he knew of a way to always win in Russian roulette I can't tell you what it was, but let's just say... My mind was blown"