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Joke of the Day

"TRUMP: I'm building a wall to keep Mexicans out. AMERICANS: I'm going to Canada if Trump is elected. CANADIANS: We need to build a wall."

"What's the opposite of Cristopher Walken... Cristopher reeve."

"If I got 50 cents for every failed math exam I'd have $ 6.30 now"

"I was making out with my girlfriend in my car when she said ""OOH DARMOK!! KISS ME DOWN WHERE IT SMELLS!"" ...so I drove her to New Jersey."

"*Goes to bathroom *Reaches down to unzip *Discovers pants have been unzipped for the last 4 hours *Starts wearing underwear"

"I'm going to keep buying cats until one of them does something hilarious and makes me a YouTube millionaire."

"Don't have your phone number posted on FB if you don't want me calling you at 3am drunk asking for the recipe of that cobbler you posted."

"What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman knew his parents before they were shot."

"Where can you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him."

"Russia will eat Turkey for thanksgiving this year."