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Joke of the Day

"Imagine if things had been reversed. We'd be eating Lou Gehrig candy bars and getting Babe Ruth's disease."

"What are the three rings of marriage? The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering."

"Which actor is a dog's favorite? Bark Ruffaro"

"Communism is awful. It's just common cents."

"How did Hitler lose weight quickly ? Juice cleanse."

"A spider crawled across my leg while I was driving and of course that fcuker survived the crash."

"I saw a poor old woman slip over on some ice the other day... ... at least I think she was poor; she only had $3 in her purse."

"What do you call a Pho restaurant run by 9 Japanese chefs? Pho Kyuu EDIT: No one understands how to pronounce ""Pho"". ;_;"

"How does the Pope get around New York City? Mass Transit!"

"""They had to amputate them both at the ankles,"" said Tom, defeated."