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Joke of the Day

"Actual Critic Armani blazer: 20k Gucci shoes: 15k Tag Heuer watch: 50k Friend meets you and says ""Looking Idiot"" - Priceless"

"The tree and the wind. What does a tree say after it gets knocked over by the wind? I went out on a limb."

"There are only 10 bad people in the world.. And i get Christmas cards from 9 of them."

"What's the difference between a male and a female? (Just hear me out.) Iron."

"How do you know your sister is on her period? When your dads dick tastes like shit."

"What do you get when you combine a goat egg and a goat sperm? A Zy-Goat I'll escort myself out."

"A snare drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff... ba dum PSH!"

"Nobody wants to talk about the elephant in the waiting room, but he has an appointment."

"Imagine William Shatner -Knock knock. -Who's there? - Genghis -Genghis who? -KHHHHAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!!!"

"[me, in a sting operation] Can I buy your best stuff? DRUG DEALER: what do u mean by stuff? *talking into my shirt* what do I mean by stuff?"