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Joke of the Day
"""I'm soooo tired!"" [lays down in bed] ""I'm soooo comfortable!"" Bladder: Sup bro"
Next Joke
"Why did Marx pay for dinner on the first date? Because his utopia might be classless, but he's not"
"A farmer asks a physicist for a system to collect chicken eggs The physicist thinks for a while and says: -I have a solution, but it only works with spherical chickens and in vacuum."
"ten years ago my dad called me a ""latte liberal"" once, now i wanna adjust my vintage frames scoffing all like ""UM, IT'S COLD BREW SOCIALIST"""
"Hey, did you guys know Vicodin *isn't* like Flinstones chewables, at all."
"Sex is like pizza... If you are using bbq sauce, you better know what the fuck you are doing."
"Alexa, take down my Christmas decorations."
"The owner of hostess just brought the playboy mansion Guess he really liked ho-hos and ding dongs"
"Yo mama so fat... her carbon footprint turned to diamond."
"Optimus Prime: AUTOBOTS, ROLL OUT. Me: *walks downstairs* where the hell is my toaster and microwave?"