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Joke of the Day

"Ladies, don't waste your time picking up guys at Chuck E Cheese. Apparently they have a ""family"" & a ""wife"" & I'm ""ruining their dinner."""

"Women think that they can do the same things as men... But they haven't successfully oppressed an entire gender"

"What's the difference between New Jersey girls and trash? Trash gets picked up."

"What do you call a dog with lice in China? Full course dinner"

"Doctor Doctor You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking Do you drink a lot? Not really - I spill most of it!"

"[at a farm] Dairy cow: Oooh that tickles Sheep: Look I got a new ""hairdo"" Chicken: Cool I didn't want to know any of my children anyway"

"I hate sitting comfortably on the couch and then discovering my phone is more than an arm's length away. Also more than a leg's length away."

"What's Mario's favourite clothing? Denim denim denim"

"Why did the mathematician move to Seattle? He liked LaGrange bands"

"For Sale : Used Facebook account ~ get up to the minute weather forecast, religious counseling and countless pictures of Jenny's cat."