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Joke of the Day

"My life will forever be divided into two segments: before I ever used a bidet, and the Age of Enlightenment."

"all this spending on black friday... better pay your electricity bill first or next friday will be black friday too"

"I am not a ""Grammar Nazi""... I prefer the term ""Alt-Write""."

"How many Obsessive-Compulsive P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb? Just one. But he has to check it 100 times one for each watt."

"I had no idea Instagram was down until a girl in front of me at Starbucks cancelled her order, saying ""Instagram is down it's useless"""

"Isn't it so awkward when you misplace a Rolex? It's like, do I want to tell people that there's a free Rolex on the loose? Relatable, right?"

"It sucks that slavery is illegal now... We have to get them from the black market these days."

"dating tip: do NOT kiss their dad on the first date to establish dominance. wait until at least the second date. he will respect you more"

"How do you make a cat go ""Woof!""? Soak it in petrol and put a match to it. (This is a joke, not and instruction, Reddit)"

"I was thinking of telling you guys a gay joke. Butt fuck it..."