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Joke of the Day

"Ways to know a guy at the bar wants to take you home: 1. He talks to you. 2. He buys you a drink. 3. That drink makes you REALLY sleepy."

"Have you guys heard about the scarecrow... Have you guys heard about the scarecrow that got a nobel prize for being outstanding in his field?"

"I cut so much rug... ...that I had to open a PLPD policy on my feet."

"Have you ever tried using a broken pencil? No? Well don't try. It's pointless."

"We have it so good in America that once a year we voluntarily do migrant work and call it apple picking."

"What is the process for a terrorist kidnapping? Well, first Demascus, then they Baghdad!"

"What do white girls drink from? [OC] Muggs!"

"I imagine some people are like...: 'should I take the shower?...no...I'm taking the train today...'"

"How do you kill 10 flies at once? Slap an African child in the face."

"What do you call a female police officer with short pubes? CuntStubble"