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Joke of the Day

"I can't wait till I have kids so I can drive slowly past McDonalds and tell them there's food at home when they ask for some.."

"Why didn't the witch wear panties.... So she could grip the broom better."

"How many gay men can you fit on a bar stool? 4 if you turn it upside down."

"I brought a dyslexic girl home last night. She cooked my sock."

"*men apologize for their weakness* *women apologize for their strength* *aliens probe neither*"

"Did you hear about the mathematician who hated negative numbers? He would always stop at nothing to avoid them."

"Oscar Pistorious That sounds like a spell Harry Potter uses to make your legs fall off"

"[at Applebees on Christmas] God: Your food good? Jesus: Ya, it- *a crowd of servers surrounds them* Jesus: You didn't... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO Y"

"In INTERSTELLAR, why does Tom's voice get higher when he's older? Answer: thedust"

"How do you confuse a feminist? Tell her not to make you a sandwich."