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Joke of the Day

"she wants the D (director's cut)"

"What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better get some support quick or people are going to think we're nuts."

"It's so cute how fish just can't contain their excitement when you cuddle them."

"Why being gay is a serious issue? Because men are fucking asshole"

"Nice guys finish last Which is quite unfortunate, given that nice guys finish last"

"FBI AGENT: [lifting crime scene tape and walking in] dale howard, fbi ME: [following him] bob vulfov, looking for a bathroom"

"I got 99 issues... And they are all collectable national geographics."

"Twitter's original name was ""Sentence Contest"""

"Why did the porkchop scream for help? I'd tell you the rest, but I don't want to spoil the meat of the joke."

"""You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."" - neighborhood drunk"