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Joke of the Day

"I didn't like this marimba player very much... ...He just had bad vibes."

"I live in Zimbabwe. My favorite rapper is 50 cent. Or as we like to call him, 400 million dollars."

"How do two lesbians pass their time when on their period? Finger painting."

"~Little Mermaid family meeting~ Ariel.... We found this hidden in your top drawer. *places sea cucumber on table*"

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Nevermind, I just boiled the egg."

"The vet told me ""I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to put your dog down..."" ""Oh God!"" I said. ""WHY?!"" ""Because my arms are getting tired."" he said."

"What did Mike Tyson call the groom with cold feet? A Puthy"

"How old were you on your last birthday? Eight. And how old will you be on your next birthday? Ten. Oh I don't think that's possible. Oh yes it is - I'm nine today."

"I only have one hand.... So i shop at secondhand stores."

"What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup? You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)"