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Joke of the Day

"Your proctologist called. He found your head."

"Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night."

"Funny how shampoo bottles weigh like, 2 pounds in real life, but when dropped in the shower they turn into a meteor."

"Yeah, bro. I train and I lift... ...It's easier to get to work that way than to bike and to stairs."

"Hey Terminator, who are you dressing up as for the musical fancy dress? I'll be Bach"

"""I've been a very bad girl. I need to be punished."" She said... ""Very well.."" I replied.. installing windows 8 on her laptop."

"How does Mike Tyson get smarter? By taking a math gainer."

"Don't you hate when the whole movie theater's empty, but someone sits right next to you? I know you do, that's why I do it."

"What did Mike Meyers say to Eddie Murphy after Eddie bought him a brand new Mercedes? ""DANKE!"""

"The bison was declared as USA's national mammal Hearing these news, the Republicans breathed a sigh of relief - at least it's not gayson"