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Joke of the Day
"What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese."
Next Joke
"Wife walks up to husband and asks for money Wife: I need some money to buy a bra Husband: do you think you have breasts big enough to buy a bra? Wife: when you bought boxers, did I say anything?"
"It's amazing how kids can't think of a thing to do all day long but you put them to bed at 11 pm & they're busy working on a cure for cancer"
"""Welcome, teachers & parents, to our community school assembly"" *gestures to 237 IKEA boxes* ""Let's begin! Who's got the Allen wrench?"""
"*hit man puts on silencer* *shoots gun* Gun: YOUR HAIR SMELLS NICE LIKE MY MOMS Wth? *looks at case* Oh I brought the awkward silencer"
"What do you call a horse that's thinking of home? Mentally in-stable."
"I wanna go out I wanna come in I wanna go out I wanna come in I wanna go out I wanna come in -My dog, all day long."
"What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?? Attire"
"Why is it difficult to punish vampires? They can't reflect on what they've done."
"Guy: ""Do you have a lighter?"" Me: ""Yep"" Guy: ""You smoke?"" Me: ""No, you just never know when you're gonna need to light someone on fire."""