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Joke of the Day

"Guy: ""Do you have a lighter?"" Me: ""Yep"" Guy: ""You smoke?"" Me: ""No, you just never know when you're gonna need to light someone on fire."""

"Why are A's like flowers? Because B's go after them!"

"I hate it when all of North America tells me I exaggerate"

"What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on juan"

"[1st date] Her: we should keep religion out of this *religion gets up & leaves the table* Me: see what u did? *I get up and chase after it*"

"What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Jerkey"

"Have you seen the new movie Constipation? It hasn't come out yet..."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Anatole ! Anatole who ? Anatole me you're a pain in the neck !"

"Why am I not afraid of Michelle Obama banning soda pop? She said ""If you like your Dr. Pepper, you can keep your Dr. Pepper."""

"Social media is nice because now we can all experience profound solitude and isolation together."