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Joke of the Day

"Guy: ""Do you have a lighter?"" Me: ""Yep"" Guy: ""You smoke?"" Me: ""No, you just never know when you're gonna need to light someone on fire."""

"Yo Mama's so stupidshe got locked in a ""Furniture World"" and slept on the floor."

"You may think it's a good idea to go to weight watchers to meet women... but actually the ones there are quite hard to pick up."

"Jesus was the original child star who fell in with the wrong crowd and died young."

"Mankind have spent time equal to 7857 years watching PSY Gangnam style only. Shame on you people."

"ME: Would you like a snack? 4: No. As a pure mathematical object, I require no physical sustenance."

"Today is the day I go back to the gym. Tomorrow is when I stop telling lies."

"Enrique Iglesias wants to 1. Be your hero 2. Kiss away your pain 3. Stand by you forever Enrique Iglesias is your mother"

"Question *Q: Why couldn't the pirate play cards? *A: He was sitting on the deck."

"Christian pop music? You mean holy shit?"