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Joke of the Day

"Why did Saul want to kill Christians? Because he was Saulty. I'll^show^^myself^^^out..."

"if seagulls fly over the sea, what flies over the bay? bagels"

"I know we just got divorced, but would you mind showing my girlfriend how to make an omelet the way I like them?"

"If a bundle of sticks with an axe in it is a fasces, does that make an OP with an axe to grind a fascist? Seems that way on 4chan."

"Saw a homeless guy babbling about conspiracy theories that doesn't really make sense... You could say it was a vague rant."

"What does a girl say to a guy when she sees his huge dick? Im not sure either."

"She asked me to buy Tampons so I bought Kotex, because that one time I wanted ice cream and she bought frozen yogurt."

"Do you know why George Washington 's father forgive him? Because Washington still holding the axe"

"Q: What do teddy bears like to have in their houses? A: Fur-niture."

"Bus trip Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.' Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.' Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'"