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Joke of the Day

"A man using the new Apple maps walks into a bar... ... or maybe a hotel. or possibly a church."

"Girls always think I'm ugly until they see what's in my bank account Then they think I'm ugly AND poor"

"Women are like modern art... They're hard to figure out, and we're not really sure if they even have a purpose."

"I spent an hour staring at the OJ container yesterday. It said ""concentrate."""

"I was drinking at the bar, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before!"

"What do you call a vegetarian fart? Kale force wind!"

"A man is in his doctors office. The doctor says ""Sir you need to stop masturbating"". ""Why"" asks the man. The doctor replies ""It's making it difficult to finish the examination""."

"""Gotta wake up early"" *sets alarm for 5am* *wakes up at 4:55am to cancel alarm* *goes back to sleep*"

"Why did the Gorilla visit Italy? An advertisement's headline enticed him - See Ape-les and die!"

"There is no Control (Ctrl) button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control."