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Joke of the Day
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"What is a Coronation Street resident's least favourite football team? Tramnear Rovers"
"[cool person follows me] me: ok I gotta bring my A game now it's only good tweets from here me 5 mins later: horses r just big dogs ?"
"I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life, if I die next Thursday"
"15 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope, and no Jobs. Don't die Kevin Bacon!!"
"The five second rule doesn't apply to babies. You can pick them up anytime after dropping."
"The group wanted to pour some wine but unfortunately... Decant"
"Fish must really like poetry. They like things that are deep."
"What do you call a notebook where you record information about your poops? Some people may call it a log journal, while others call it a diary-a."
"How can you tell if you have a high sperm count? Your girl has to chew before she swallows."