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Joke of the Day

"I farted in front of a Jewish friend He got offended but i said "" c'mon a little gas never killed anybody"""

"A man sold his soul to the devil in order to get back the full head of hair he had as a young man. There was hell toupee."

"Me: did you get into my weed again? Wife *dipping a pop tart in ranch dressing* what?"

"Poland... Poland - a country between Russia to the east and Germany to the west. If they piss Russia off, they turn the gas off. If they piss Germany off they turn the gas on."

"How do you know if somebody is a vegan? They'll fucking tell you."

"Morning is like someone constantly whispering ""fuck you"" into your ear."

"How do you scare a snowman? You get a hairdryer!"

"Did you hear what the Pope was giving up for lent? His job."

"My child's first name Is going to be look"

"My favorite toilet in my house is broken Guess I'll have to make doo with my other one"