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Joke of the Day

"Me: did you get into my weed again? Wife *dipping a pop tart in ranch dressing* what?"

"I just got my first grey hair. This is the last time I let grandma cook dinner for me."

"What's the difference between an epileptic farmer and a prostitute with diarrhea? The farmer shucks between fits."

"Q: How was the pig defeated in court? A: Oinkontroverible evidence against it and oinkonsistencies in the defense."

"What happened when the wheel was invented? It caused a revolution."

"The second Pop-Tart exists solely to hammer home the self-loathing initiated by the first Pop-Tart."

"Why did the corn maze go back to school? It was tired of working in a dead end field."

"A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave because they are now aware of the added danger that has been added to the environment."

"A sure fire way to lose a afternoon, is to help a friend out when he says ""come on it will only take a half hour to fix"""

"If I had a dollar for every person who found me unattractive... I'd buy the htc vive, because who the fuck cares if your ugly when you have VR."