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Joke of the Day
"What is dark, invades you in your sleep, and starts with N-I-G? Nightmares you racist."
Next Joke
"I suck at video games. I mess up the character's life like I have my own. I played Mario today and he ended up $60K in debt and had 4 DUIs."
"My wife is so weird She starts every conversation with *""were you even listening to me? ""*"
"My kid throwing her toast out the car window was more badass than anything I've done in the last 10 years."
"So the Dali-Lama walks into a pizza shop... and asks the pizza guy, ""Can you make me one with everything?"""
"This lady went to ISIS to convince her son who joined them to come back home She will beheading home soon"
"I spent the past 2 years looking for my girlfriend's killer But no one will do it"
"What do a walrus and tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal."
"Who are your favorite underground artists?? Mine are Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston"
"[third date] Her: please quit calling me Jenny Me: oh my apologies Jennifer Her: my name is Amanda"