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Joke of the Day

"Why aren't midgets attention whores? Cause they know they're important."

"My teenage son Filbert was ejected from the Young Republicans for naming his pet lizard Bernie Salamanders. You bet your buns he's grounded."

"What weebles and wobbles but can't get up? Grandpa having a seizure. Bonus: Statistically speaking, 1 in 5 adult men"

"I accidentally swallowed a lot of food coloring this morning. I dyed a little inside."

"What do you call 2 ducks who walk like, act like, and believe they are geese? A paradux"

"There is only 2 things you need to know to succeed in life 1. Never help anyone succeed. 2."

"I went to the zoo today. All they had was one dog. It was a shit zoo"

"What does a tuna, a glue stick, and a piano have not have in common? You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

"What are the first three letters of the Greek alphabet? I.O.U."

"Have you ever seen the inside of an ac compressor? It's really cool."