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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend uses an amazing skin moisturizer It's like taking a handy from a baby!"

"I used to be indecisive... Now I'm not so sure..."

"Did you hear about the fire at the flame retardant textile manufacturer? Someone left the irony on..."

"Why is it impossible to starve in a desert? Because of the sand, which is everywhere."

"Can February march? No, but April may."

"What's the difference between a small bird? One of it's legs is a little smaller."

"Places I'd Rather Not Live - Paradox, New York - Crapo, Maryland - Boogertown, North Carolina - Spasticville, Kansas - Hellhole, Idaho - Purgatory, Maine - Girdletree, Maryland - Rabbithash, Kentucky"

"poor guy. The cashier seemed to appreciate that I bagged my own groceries... Until I unpacked them all & said, ""That's how I want you to do it."""

"What do you get when you take a needle to a balloon filled with yogurt? pop culture"

"I bought my kids electric toothbrushes because it was taking too long to splatter toothpaste all over the bathroom w/the regular toothbrush."