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Joke of the Day

"First, that jerk cut me off in traffic, then he stole my parking space, and then his stupid car got paint on my key!"

"It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike."

"So I caught my friend out the other night bumming a fag... ... He really has to start buying his own cigarettes."

"So Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and phosphorus walk into a bar. The bartender says ""OH SNAP"""

"Did youhear about the Newfie abortion clinic? It's so busy there's a twelve month waiting list."

"For this Valentines day, I'll be inundated. Oops. I mean I'll be in, undated."

"I ran a marathon! 1 mile a day for 26 days boo ya."

"Golfers always bring two pairs of pants to the Masters. Just in case they get a hole in one."

"If George Washington were alive today... he'd be clawing at the inside of his coffin and screaming incoherently."

"Anal with my girlfriend made my whole day But it made her whole week."