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Joke of the Day

"""What has 8 arms, is ominous looking and ink is its weapon of choice?"" ""An octopus?"" ""No Jeff, the answer is my wife's 4 divorce attorneys"""

"Dad, What is your favorite music genre ? Elevator music"

"What dog is always tired in London? An English sleep dog."

"No one shows their true character more than when they are retrieving their bags from baggage claim"

"When I was a kid I didn't want to imagine my parents having sex, so I'd watch them from the wardrobe."

"A world without women would be a pain in the ass!!! ... If you don't get it... you don't deserve to."

"I went to a General Store the other day. Couldn't find anything specific."

"What do you call a Psychic Compromise? A Happy Medium. Sorry, a played around with the wording of this a lot and couldn't find anything better. Please suggest a better phrasing."

"The year is 2036, President Jaden Smith is re-elected in a landslide after making it illegal to respond to someone's text message with ""K"""

"*Approaches a guy reading ""Catch Me If You Can""* I love that book. The way he just *clenches fist* catches all those freakin' cans."