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Joke of the Day

"""What has 8 arms, is ominous looking and ink is its weapon of choice?"" ""An octopus?"" ""No Jeff, the answer is my wife's 4 divorce attorneys"""

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"I hate when people ask me what I see myself doing in 5 years...... I don't have 2020 vision"
"(sees someone doing a texas chainsaw massacre) um can you not"
"What is Donald Trump's favourite nation? Discrimination"
"Scientists find new way to measure pregnancy Placentage"
"The world is full of people who just need to hug a cactus."
"Statically, 1 in every 10 people live next to a pedophile. Not me though, I live next to a little boy with a fat ass"
"say a prayer for all the men who are forced to carry their girlfriends' purses"
"The movie Noah would be more entertaining if it was combined with Sharknado."
"Hillary Clinton's autobiography should be called, ""Sisterhood of the traveling pants suit""."