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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Psychic Compromise? A Happy Medium. Sorry, a played around with the wording of this a lot and couldn't find anything better. Please suggest a better phrasing."

"I'm surprised the back of soy milk cartons don't have missing hipster children."

"Here is a joke about sausage: Nevermind. It's the wurst."

"I am in my truest form when the food comes at a restaurant and I side-eye plates, suspicious that everyone got more fries than I did."

"What do you call an online relationship? E-bae... I'll see myself out"

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result but I still get up every morning."

"Why was the fruit really upset he had to get married in a big church? [oc] Because he cantaloupe."

"I tried growing some thin fruit last month But there's been slim pickings."

"Schools should teach kids how to balance a checkbook & basic car maintenance & how to hide a drinking problem. Regular life stuff ya know."

"[Car breaks down] Me:*inspecting engine* Date: is everything ok? Me: *nervously searching 100 now empty hamster wheels* haha..y-yep"