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Joke of the Day

"What were the last words of the explorer who discovered the Boa Constrictor? ""Can't...breathe..."""

"My friend doesn't like how I tell fat people jokes. I'm still not sure how their weight has to do with their sense of humor."

"You really shouldn't mess with rickshaw drivers They run the streets."

"I feel bad for that goober from the Mucinex commercials. It's not his fault he's a little snot."

"A ninja turdle is when you poop really fast."

"Sometimes I loiter outside of Victoria's Secret just so people think I have a girlfriend."

"I accidentally ran over a leprachaun. I brought it home and cooked it up. TRAGICALLY DELICIOUS!"

"Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden? A. Your mother ate us out of house and home."

"Have you heard the one about the airplane? Never mind. It's over your head."

"Drink to remember. Drink to forget. Tweet while drinking, Wake up with regret."