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Joke of the Day

"Cat 1: Are the humans asleep? Cat 2: It appears so. Cat 1: I shall now sing the anthem of my people."

"Adopted Friend I feel really bad for my adopted friend. He is going through an existential crisis. Which sort of makes him like his Dad. He doesn't really know who he is."

"There is nothing like the sound of a child's laughter to remind you that your apartment is haunted."

"""Emma Stone"" ~ Italian man telling you he's high"

"Fortune Teller The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take notes."

"I quit my job today!! The money from that Nigerian king arrives tomorrow, I'm so excited."

"Damn girl, is your dad in jail? Cuz if I was your dad, I'd be in jail."

"What do vampires have at eleven o'clock every day? A coffin break."

"What's small, orange and sounds like a parrot? An oompa loompa with a sore throat."