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Joke of the Day

"""Emma Stone"" ~ Italian man telling you he's high"

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"What does a parrot named Larry talk about? Vocabulary"
"Finally figured out the reason why l look so bad in pictures. It's my face."
"Do you know the Greek version of Monopoly? It's called Monopoulos and you just borrow all the money from the bank. Everyone loses."
"What's Irish and stays out all night? Patty O'Furniture."
"Strip search? ... OK, but I'm going to need some background music."
"The NBA is like a box of crayons... they don't use the white ones."
"Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1?"
"Exercise can add years to your life. This enables you, at 95 years, to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at $7,000 a month."
"Tiger Woods... ...just had the worst 9 holes in his life, well second worst if you consider the 9 holes that lost him his marriage but still..."