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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an old film composer? Hans Zimmer-frame"

"TIL that I was born exactly 9 months after my Dad's 32nd birthday... and my mom gives awful birthday gifts."

"""Sexting"" is the sending of sexually explicit text and picture messages. It is not, apparently, an appropriate way to submit a resume."

"My wife and I are painting our house. I never knew there were so many greys. I hear there's a book about it. There's at least 50."

"My homework brings all the Asians to the yard, and they're like ""It wasn't that hard"""

"Ever hear about the Jesus Bomb? Red bull and merlot"

"My boss accused me of sticking my finger in his BD cake in the break room fridge, but he is completely wrong, it wasn't my finger."

"What do you call a Greek philosopher who plays hard to get? A socra-tease Made this one up myself. I'll be here all week"

"My buddy said that he was planning on making homemade bread. I told him to let me know if he kneeds anything."

"Want to talk about rape? No? That's the spirit."