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Joke of the Day
"What is the cow's holiday greeting? Mooooory Christmas!"
Next Joke
"Dear everyone reading this tweet, What's the future like?"
"I had a girl come over last night She was a shy little thing and offered her honor to me. Being a gentleman, I honored her offer. And all night, it was honor and offer, honor and offer."
"Sleep tight! Your brain is a billion times more complex than your laptop. And laptops break all the time."
"A suicide bomber tripped outside a news kiosk He's all over the front pages."
"Why is suicide illegal? Because no one wants to clean up your mess."
"What's the best thing about ISIS jokes? ...The execution"
"I've given up on cooking. It always starts off well. Then it just turns to shit."
"What has 10 letters and starts with Gas? Automobile! Everyone says gasoline because they don't think about it."
"My wife takes 13 bikinis for a 4-day beach trip. Meanwhile, I'm rocking the swimming trunks my mom bought at K-Mart in 1991."