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Joke of the Day

"This hillbilly is traveling across Texas when a state policeman pulls him over. ""You got any I.D.?"" the patrolman asked."" ""'Bout what?"" the hillbilly replied."

"What do you call the sexual tension between Hillary and Bill Clinton? The Bern"

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Just Juan."

"[On stage at comedy club] ""Doritos: 11 chips per serving"" *audience erupts in laughter* ""Oreos: 3 cookies per serving"" *audience loses it*"

"No self-respecting murderer is going to have the patience to stand there for the twenty or thirty hours it'll take me to dig my own grave."

"How do you offend a white person? Tell him he cant tell racist jokes."

"PET PEEVE: Why do we call them baby names? They're HUMAN NAMES. They don't expire as you grow up."

"Q: What is long, black and stinks? A: The unemployment line"

"if girl is in love - Her parent Ask: Who is that Idiot..? If Boy is in love - His parent Ask: Idiot, Who is that Girl..? Moral :: No matter who ever is in love... Boys Are Always Idiot :P (LOL)"

"I hate weddings, funerals and the symphony. I never know when to clap."