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Joke of the Day
"What do you call an Arab who owns 5,000 cows A Milk Sheikh."
Next Joke
"Trying out that new pickup line on a girl for the first time; whether it works or not, you'll wind up feeling a twat. *EYYYYYY*"
"I'm opening a store that specializes in selling automatic weapons. It's called Bloodbath & Beyond"
"An identity thief... takes things personally"
"Today I played chess with some old men in the park. It was hard to round up 32 of them."
"ahhh. this weather takes me back to the glory days of stealing dad's lawnmower & joyriding all day until the squirrels made the blades stop."
"You are literally overusing literally."
"TIL why Conservatives don't use birth control. Boys don't get pregnant."
"My wife called me mean... ... so I called her average."
"If I could make the ultimate scary animal, I'd make it hybrid with the head of a bear, bear claws, and the body of a bear."