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Joke of the Day

"What's a Jew's favorite brand of hotdog? Anne Frank's"

"It's disturbing that when we see a man's mustache fall off we assume it's an identity theft situation and not a medical emergency"

"What did Harry Potter say when he found Dumbledore in bed with his godfather? Are you fucking Sirius?"

"What kind of fish does Google have in their lobby? [betta]s"

"Me: Goodnight Moon Moon: Well hi there. I can't hear you because I'm 240,000 miles away and sound doesn't travel in space. Die in a fire."

"Have you heard the one about the three holes? WELL, WELL, WELL..."

"when you move to a new town everyone wants to date you because they don't know you're a piece of shit yet. i highly recommend it."

"I was a house painter for five years I didn't think I'd ever finish that fucking house"

"Liver Doctor: You are in trouble, your liver is enlarged Patient: Does that mean I have more space for whisky now?"

"I've quit my new job as a postman. They handed me my first letter to deliver, I looked at it and thought: ""This isn't for me."""