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Joke of the Day

"""My husband's a talented voice actor & his brother's a makeup artist but nah this old lady is a different person"" -the mom in Mrs. Doubtfire"

"Absentmindedness SHE""I consider, John, that sheep are the stupidest creatures living."" HE(absent-mindedly)""Yes, my lamb."""

"If theres an otter, youre underwater. If a ferret you see, then on land you be."

"If you see your ex, wrap your hands behind your neck and pretend you're making out with someone. That'll show him you're still crazy AF."

"What kind of cereal does Microsoft make? Wind O's"

"A man proposes. A man goes down on his knees and proposes to her: *Marry Me... and Make me the Happiest Man in the World* Looking bewildered she replied: **You want Both !!!??**"

"What idiot called it British conjoined twins and not chapstick?"

"What does a pirate get when he walks into a second-hand shop? Disappointed."

"What's my favourite kind of trans-fat? Chaz Bono"

"Don't worry about what people think. They don't do it that often."