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Joke of the Day

"""My husband's a talented voice actor & his brother's a makeup artist but nah this old lady is a different person"" -the mom in Mrs. Doubtfire"

"I admit I've had sex with over 30 women in my life But it only happened one time."

"You're Twitter famous. Cool, cool. I won a dodgeball tournament in 3rd grade and I got a real trophy for that."

"What do you call a broken boomerang? A stick"

"Hardcore Ramen: drink boiling water, swallow dried noodle block, snort flavor packet."

"A black guy walks into a bar. And he found himself with a headache as he couldn't read the CONSTRUCTION sign"

"I asked a black man on the street if he could come fix my speaker set up, since he must be good at fixing electronics. He told me I used the wrong stereo type."

"NSFW what does a suicide bomber need virgins for i read that suicide bombers get offered a bunch of virgins in heaven but whats a pile of mince meat going to do with them in heaven anyway."

"I've started a business building yachts in my attic. Sails are going through the roof."

"Women who brag about multi-tasking should chill out. There is nothing cool about doing 3 things wrong at once!"