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Joke of the Day

"I don't mind head lice, unless I have to take them out of people's hair. But that's just me nitpicking."

"My Jewish friend was having trouble with his homework..... I guess he needed more concentration."

"Just saw a Fiat & a Mini Cooper get into a head on collision. It was horrible... there was glitter everywhere."

"The term ""Every 60 seconds in Africa , a minute passes"" is stupid Because the majority of Africans don't get seconds , they'll be very lucky if they even get their first servings ."

"Other jokes like, ""If pro is the opposite of con, does that mean that congress is the opposite of progress?"" Just looking for some jokes similar to this one, playing on opposites and such."

"MY HOT WIFE: want to go down on me? [three minutes later] *riding my wife down the water slide* YEAHHHH"

"Why was the doctor so stressed out? He lost his patients..."

"Women: Think of every guy you have ever been friends with. He has jerked off to you. Good talk."

"How do Canadians say Milky Way? Milky Eh.... Get it?"

"What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe with that thing?!?"