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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a nun that walks in her sleep? A roamin' Catholic."

"Really wanted the day off, so I text my boss Me: I can't come in today. I'm sick Boss: How sick are you? Me: Well I'm currently in bed with my sister......"

"Sometimes I wish I was a cat just so I can constantly ignore everything said to me while licking the inside of my thigh."

"Renee Zellweger walked into a bar... ""Oh, so that's what happened!"""

"Theres one thing that you can't say on Reddit: [removed]"

"I got fired from the banana plantation for ""wasting resources"" All i did was throw out the Bent ones"

"I think I want a job cleaning mirrors. It's something I could really see myself doing."

"I think the reason old people sleep in separate bedrooms is so they don't have to wake up next to someone dead."

"How the hell did Caitlyn Jenner win women of the year? She hasn't even been a women for a year yet."

"I put my underwear on like anyone else. Backwards, two legs in one hole, falling down then decide it's easier to go without."