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Joke of the Day
"How does Jesus pull mad bitches? Because he's hung like this! ( extends both arms horizontally)"
Next Joke
"What do you call a Transformer who always sees the glass as half full? Optimist Prime"
"What did the dementia patient say to the other dementia patient? I forgot."
"What's the closest synonym to a love boat? A relation-ship."
"I couldn't believe it when my mother said she liked The Monkees more than The Beatles. Then I saw her face."
"So i worked at the USPS...I'm apparently not the ""man"" for the..... the sub its named for."
"A Frenchman walls into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder... The bartender says, ""Where'd you get that?"" The parrot says, ""In France. They're everywhere!"""
"Tim Cook has announced that he's gay. Samsung just filed a lawsuit claiming they came out of the closet 3 years ago. #Apple"
"How do you get heaps of pikachu on to a bus? You pokemon"
"Dark humor is like a children's cancer ward... It never gets old."