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Joke of the Day
"Don't kid yourself vegans. If a cow got the chance he'd eat you and everyone you know"
Next Joke
"Pick up line for fat chicks ""Hey girl, put down that cupcake, you're already too sweet."""
"A lady walks into a bar... Sits down and says to the bartender ""give me a double."" He asks ""what'll it be?"" She replies ""make it an entedre."" So he gave it to her."
"My gf said all I do is sit on the couch in my underwear all day but that's bullshit, I've never been able to fit my underwear onto my couch."
"If a hipster falls in the middle of the woods and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Yeah, but you've probably never heard it before."
"People call my Grandfather Spiderman... He doesn't have superpowers, he just finds it difficult getting out of the bath."
"Star Wars Episode 7? What's next, Star Wars Episode 8???"
"The sexiest face I make is when I'm trying to squelch a yawn. Just kidding, I look like a stroke victim."
"Q: What's red and looks like a bucket? A: A red bucket."
"""Mornin' sweetie, for breakfast we have marzipan filled, double layered raspberry pastries. Yum!"" ""Poptarts, mom. They're called Poptarts."""