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Joke of the Day

"Body: All done? Brain: All done. Body: goodnight Brain: goodnight Body: Brain: Brain: Flintstone tiptoed a lot for a big dude"

"If you surround your house in police tape, the odds of you being robbed drops dramatically."

"Why did the lesbian cross the road? To get to the other bride! *Congrats, America!*"

"i just got my first prostate exam and im never going back to that dentist again"

"Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today , she shut her eyes and stopped breathing. I thought she was dead , until I saw the red spot on her forehead and realised she was just on standby."

"Ironically its exactly 12 steps from my car to the liquor store"

"You know how light travels faster than sound? That's why some people seem bright until they start speaking."

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus."

"TIL That there was a German warship during WW2 that accidentally sunk 34 friendly submarines. Edit:Whoops, wrong sub."

"I wish people would stop only talking about Jesus and just start acting like him."