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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between period blood and sand? You can't gargle sand!"

"Would you rather have a baby brother or a baby sister? I'd much rather have a jelly baby."

"Why did the puppy get away with committing murder? ...He had paws-able deniability."

"What does a neckbeard call a disease or ailment? ma'lady"

"You know you are out of luck.. You know you are out of luck, when you ass-fuck your GF and still end up with a kid !"

"Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? Because it said concentrate."

"19 showed us what he has learned at college when he asked ""can we drink screwdrivers while we are opening presents?"" *making screwdrivers*"

"What do the Chinese call their spies? Secret Asians."

"What's the difference between Barack Obama and a mark on a gift? One's a President and the other's a pressie dent. i'll see myself out."

"My 4 yr old: I wish I was a nurse. Me: You can be one day, if you want. Him: *sadly shaking head* No. I'm going to be a Power Ranger."