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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the statistics for the total amount of waste produced by the US this year? Gross"

"Why should Donald Trump change his name to Donald Duck? Because he's a quack."

"What did the Jewish Pedophile say to the boy? Would you like to buy some candy?"

"What happens when two self-driving cars crash into each other? *RECALCULATING....*"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, glass ceilings don't have light bulbs."

"I have an EpiPen... My friend gave it to me as he was dying...It seemed pretty important to him that I have it, I'll cherish it always. edit: grammar"

"Whats your favorite pickup line? Mine is: I'll give you candy if you get in the van"

"It's important for me to teach my kids to be independent & self-reliant, cause I won't be around forever, especially if I win the lottery."

"At the Republican convention they kept telling everyone to stop with the Bush-bashing... Who are they to tell me what I can and can't do in the bedroom!?"

"Managed to scare off my prison pen pal. Crazy doesn't even begin to cover what's wrong with me."