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Joke of the Day

"Who wants to go to Florida with me? I heard the clubs are to die for."

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"Your momma so old... powdered milk comes out her nipples."
"Why are chickens never virgins? A: Because when they're born they get laid."
"What's the difference between an old Greyhound bus terminal and a lobster with 38 D breasts? One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean!"
"I used to work in a helium factory... But I left, because I didn't like the way they spoke to me... [Read the second part with a helium voice.]"
"whats the differnce from a blonde and a blow up sex doll only about two bottles of hair spray"
"put a pic of a girl with perfect abs on my fridge so I'm motivated to suck in my gut every time I pull out the ice cream"
"The fact that there is even such a thing as ugly hookers tells you pretty much all you need to know about men..."
"Two hipsters walked into a bar. One did it before it was cool and the second did it ironically."
"I learned all my flirting from lizards so I just do a bunch of really fast pushups when I see a cute lizard."