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Joke of the Day

"If you want to cry use a tissue, not your Facebook status."

"That burrito didn't agree with me. And then I was like ""Why am I arguing with a burrito?!"""

"What's the difference between telling a good joke and sex? Dunno. I'm pretty shit at both."

"Apparently, you can only say ""look at you! You got so big!"" to children,,, old girlfriends tend to get offended."

"Fight Club I went to my first fight club meeting last night, I showed up late so I missed the first few rules but it was awesome I love fight club cant wait for the next meeting"

"I need a new waffle iron. These waffles are still wrinkled."

"How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Kick his sister in the jaw."

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb ? Just Juan."

"Three guys walk into a bar You'd think one of them would've seen it"

"Daughter just told me, ""Dad, I don't make sandwiches, I eat sandwiches."" One day her picture will be on money."