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Joke of the Day

"My niece asked me what it's like to be an uncle, so we got a feral cat from a shelter, chased it around for a bit, then took it back."

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"What does grandmas vagina taste like? Depends.."
"He was next in line at Starbucks. Then she cut in front of him. Liam Neeson in TAKEN 3: SKINNY VANILLA MAYHEM."
"My Grandfather had the heart of a lion and... A lifetime ban from the New York City zoo."
"Mom mom! Is light edible? Because I just heard dad tell our neighbour to turn it off so he could shove it down her throat"
"Grocery store just charged me $0.10 to offset the environmental impact of my bag and then gave me a paper receipt 3 feet long."
"Is that a burrito in your pocket or are you happy to see me? I'm cool if it's a burrito."
"I like my coffee like I like my women... I've heard multiple versions of this joke. Please comment with you're favorite."
"Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because he's a fucking creep"
"Marathons should keep going until only one person hasn't shit themselves and that person should be the winner."