10210

Joke of the Day

"A sissy in a Prius terrormobile tried to race me at a stop sign. Had him for the first 100 feet, but a fella can only walk so fast. Merica."

"What do you call alternative medicine that works? Medicine."

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."

"What do you get when you cross a frog and a rabbit? A rabbit that says ""Ribbit."""

"Why does it feel like time slows down during the day when you're at work and rapidly speeds up at night when you get home?"

"Government Shutdown: Day Three Jellystone Park still closed. Still no pic-a-nic baskets. Yogi stares at Boo-Boo... Boo-Boo looks tasty."

"Does anyone want to buy grilled cheese? http://miami.craigslist.org/pbc/evs/5494716931.html"

"My Favorite Limerick There once was a fellow McSweeney Who put some gin on his weenie Just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his girlfriend a martini"

"The parents with the ugliest babies take and post the most pictures."

"My cat is rubbing herself all over me because she wants me to stroke her. It's like she's a drunk version of me."