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Joke of the Day

"Tomorrow is Saturday... ...that means i only have to worry about work, i don't have to actually be there."

"Don't ""psh"" me, Coca Cola I just opened."

"[text] ""Just saw this! I'd love to go to dinner!"" Him: That was 3 years ago, I have a wife & kid now. ""Bring 'em! Sister Wives is my jam!"""

"Girls are like square roots... If they're under 18 just do them in your head."

"How do you get a sweet little old lady to say F***? Get another one to yell BINGO"

"One day I will write my autobiography and it will just say ""fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck."" The rest of the pages will be drawings of dicks."

"What one food is known to decrease sex drive in women more than any other? Wedding cake."

"What do you call a coffee made with frothy milk that tastes like crap? A farte"

"Of course Bruce Willis is going to keep playing the same movie roles. You know what they say about old habits....."

"4 former presidents walk into a bar Clinton gets a new STD"