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Joke of the Day

"When life hands you donkeys, move to a mountainous region."

"Take a day off. Pamper yourself. Visit a spa. Pour melted wax on ur body. Rip the hair out by the roots. Inject poison into ur face. Relax."

"My 9 year old son - ""If I ever get Bieber fever, just let the fever kill me."""

"What is the equivalent to Area-51 in Canada? Area-51, A"

"What do you call a fisherman who could bait a hook blindfolded, upside down with one hand tied behind his back? A masturbator"

"No, actually I hate gambling, that's why the dice on my shirt are on fire. If I see someone start to gamble I'll burn up his gambling dice."

"How many NRA members does it take to change a light bulb? A: More guns."

"What do you call a duck traveling south that enters a time warp and meets itself traveling north? A pair of ducks."

"GOD: look what I created [points to clouds] ANGEL: what am I lookin at? GOD: Is it a bunny? A man face? It's up to you! ANGEL: are you high?"

"Yesterday I was charged with kidnapping... That's the last time I fall asleep on a goat!"