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Joke of the Day

"My gf said ""tie me up and do what you want"" so I duct taped her to the headboard and went to the bar"

"If you hear someone sing Jingle Bells and you don't respond with Batman smells then I don't wanna be friends with you."

"When Yuri Gagarin was a kid, he dreamt to be the first one in outer space ... ... but some bitches beat him to it."

"Hey Reddit, what are your favorite lame jokes? ""Wanna hear a pizza joke?"" ""Nevermind, it's too cheesy."""

"Keep in mind that parenting guides are written by people with enough free time & financial resources to write a parenting guide."

"What's the difference between your sister and a washing machine? A washing machine only takes one load at a time."

"French-related joke (semi nsfw) When does a Frenchman get his morning wood? A bonne heure."

"What did Redditor Jesus say to Lazarus? I see your dead body and raise you back to life (NSFL)"

"Valve improving their customer service."

"Facebook: Because I like being reminded that I went to school with idiots."